Sucks for Mother's Day

I just want to voice a small grievance I have in respect to my mother and all mother's everywhere that have one of their own graduating from Rollins College on May, 14th 2006 - i.e Mother's Day. I feel a bit bad. I mean, mother's everywhere who have worked their ass off for the past 21-22 years for their kids get one day a year to bask in the love of family members, recieve gifts, cards, maybe even get a bit tipsy. But this year, our graduation lands on Mother's Day and I really believe it takes away a bit of the holiday's thunder. Happy Mother's Day Mom! Oh wait - this day is all about me. Wouldn't you feel kinda bad. Dean Nielson, lets pick a more appropriate day next year.

A Glimpse into Tori Spelling's Demented Childhood

It seems to be, that the shopping-loving, nose-job, lousy with "virginity" (as of West Beverly High) Tori Spelling, sprouted her roots of stupidity at a very early age with the help of her billionaire father, Aaron Spelling. Despite his enormous wealth, Tori's dad spent alot of his time browsing through cheap beach shops in California, collecting elaborate shells. He would then place the shells along his private beach and when Tori was a child, let her walk down the shore and collect them. Finding such large and beautiful shells everywhere, Tori was quoted saying that she remembers those times fondly as being "magical experiences", and was apparently "extremely upset and dissapointed" as a teenager when she found out that the shells were merely purchased at some junk-shop by her father. Sorry Tori. No magic there.

Ok...Tom and Katie are just plain ridiculous

Give it a rest, guys. You are a couple of nutcases that need to chill out on all your crazy childbirth scenarios and what not. OOOOOOOO Katie's having Tom's baby. Big freakin deal. Everyone has kids and oh my god...a weathered, once hot but now incredibly creepy a-list actor knocked up a hot young terrible teen tv series hobag. And better yet, he is making her adopt all of his bizarre religious ways because of course he has nothing better to do with his time than convert his dumbass fiancee and publicize all of the wonderous teachings of his scientology nonsense. Ok I'm not knocking scientology because I really don't know much about it but I mean, come on, a silent birth? Cruise wants Holmes to have her kid silently. I'm sorry but lets shove a watermelon up Tom's ass and make him get it back out in a cool calm and collected manner...no swearing...no coaxing from doctors...silence. Yea, okay. Just admit it, Tom...you got your young girlfriend pregnant and you're doing everything in your power to make it look like you're still a stellar individual. Well I have news for you, Tommy boy... you're short and outdated. Thank god for viagra, right?

And what the hell was the deal with that pathetic parade of bullshit on the Oprah show last year? EWWWW Tom lost his cool with that one, but honestly, did he ever have any to begin with?

The stupid shit this guy does just keeps getting more and more idiotic..."Kiss me Kate" written on the nose of his P-51 mustang plane...wow talk about ruining a perfectly good thing with 3 words.

Pathetic.

Ode to Appliance Direct

APPLIANCE DIRECT! DON'T PAY RETAIL!

Ok...so anyone who lives in central florida has seen this godawful, yet incredibly addicting commercial that plays for hours on some random channel...Seriously it might be the most annoying commercial I've ever seen... or is it an infomercial? I mean, I guess it's an infomercial but who needs to watch hours of some jolly asian man and unattractively 80'sed out lady with poofy hair talk about washing machines and refridgerators for that long? I get the point...their prices rock and their appliances are to die for but seriously...I only need 30 seconds or maybe a minute to get the point. But still...I just can't stop watching it when it's on tv.

Which brings me to my next point... answering machines...why is it that when you call someone the answering machine lady voice has to tell you all of your options before you can leave a message.... "to page this person press..." "this call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging service..." bla bla bla I mean really...NO SHIT when someone doesn't pick up you get an answering machine. No need to be redundant. I mean, come on...I've waited long enough. Give me a break, OK? Ugh...patience.....I have none.

Happy Monday.

News

Warrior, Bard, Mom?

Just want to give a shout-out ~ congratulations ~ to Renne O'Connor on the birth of her new baby girl Iris! Renne, or Gabrielle as we know her on "Xena: Warrior Princess" gave birth on March 19 and is now a single mom of two! (son Miles, 2001) Renee recently divorced her husband Steve Muir in early 2005 and had Iris with her now-boyfriend - what is his name?! No one knowes! What's with the privacy Renee? Unless you were impregnanted with Dahok's demon child again.... nah the baby is too cute. But then again, so was Hope - until she started killing folks!

I'm SO over it...

School...what is the point? I mean, yea it's great to get an education and all that bla bla bla talk they tell you but honestly, I'm over it. I'm so over stressing about tests and papers and giving up perfectly great opportunities to dip my toes into the florida nightlife. Why sacrifice a night of liquor sampling, sloppy flirting and uncontrollable laughter for a night in the library pretending to do work but really just taking numerous phonecall breaks and talking to anyone that walks by? I mean, yes it can be fun to sit in the library pretending to be studious but who are you really kidding? And on top of all that... are you really going to remember the massive amount of excitement and mayhem that comes with pulling an all nighter of studying? I mean, REALLY? I'd much rather float around from bar to frat to house to keg to keg to keg to beirut table to frat to bar to bar to steak n shake to lake to pool to keg to bar and then home when the sun finally comes up than do homework. It might not technically be more memorable but hey.... you did uphold the right to being a college kid.

So here's to senior year, folks. DOn't spend a second of it in the library because hey, time's running out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sping Break Follow-Up!

It's a little wild and little strange... when you make your home right on the range!

Greetings blogstalkers! Sorry for the delay in posts, but Christina and I have been on vacation in Yucca, Arizona for the past week. I know - off the bat you think, Yucca? Arizona? Spring break? College girls? For obvious reasons these things do not match up... but then you have to remember that Christina and I are not your average college spring breakers. No, we are much more nonconventional - taking vacations that actually constitute as a vacation BREAK. Therefore, low strees levels, small crowds, with a steady supply of alcohol among other things.. If any of you are familar with the Nickelodeon series of the early 90's "Hey Dude", thats pretty much where we were for a week - minus the annoying Mr. Ernest and his dipshit of a son Buddy. Our days consisted of many hours of western horseback riding, great heart-attack food prepared by the ranch, harrassing farm animals, boozing and spending time in the jacuzzi looking out over the Mohave desert. All in all, an unbelievable and unforgettable vacation.

Highlights

Some highlights of our trip include visiting an old mining ghost town in the middle of the mountains called Oatman. It was named after a family that was butchered by Indians over a hundred years ago - I thought this fact was very intriguing. One of the survivors of the massacre had her face tatooed by the indians with cactus prickers. I found this quite amusing. Ha. Anyways, Christina and I purchased guns in Oatman and spent our time pointing them at the numerous wild burros that were walking around in the streets. Another highlight of our trip was spending one night in Vegas (in the pyramid! Luxor!) spending tons of money, meeting two hot young dentists that bought us drinks Alllll night, and me being too sick to walk the morning after. At the ranch we became good buds with the wranglers, so they let us ride whatver horses we wanted - even those not available to guests because they were too "wild". Yeah right, Mancito was a pussy-cat.