Cheater Magee

Why is it that men tend to cheat on their girlfriends with nasty ugly permiscuous women? I mean, come on...if you are going to cheat pick someone that is semi good looking and somewhat of a challenge. At least make it look like you REALLY needed to do it because the girl was just so hot and just such a catch. But just screwing some ugly girl who screws anyone anyways is just plain old silly and kind of a shot to my ego.

Also, I just don't understand why guys have the nerve to cheat and then think that they are great enough to get away with it. If you are going to cheat, don't expect for things to get back to the way they were pre-cheating incident. If the girl is dumb enough to take the guy back then that's swell..they're meant for eachother; equally stupid. It's kind of humorous to watch a guy, so cool and collected most of the time, completely break down, cry, obsess, cry and cry when they just don't get what they want.

WAAAAAAAAH, you freakin baby.

Why the hell are these people still around?

You'd think that by now those ignorant assholes called neo-nazis would be gone but noooooo they're parading around the streets of Orlando with nazi flags and armbands preaching about white supremacy and all that bullshit. We took a walk down to this rally and stood in awe watching these 30 or so people(some as young as what seemed to be about 14) walk around saluting like Hitler and holding their flags. Well...our tax money paid for this rally because there were over 300 heavily armed police and swat team...horseback...you name it ...all there protecting their sorry asses. If you have something to parade around preaching, then do it on your own dollar.

I was horrified that these people were able to do this and be protected. I got patted down twice before I could join the 300+ protestors wearing everything from large stars of david on their shirts to t-shirts lamenting peace. My favorite was a group of older men with bright teal shirts saying "Operation: Be Cool"--- the turnout to protest this rally was intensly cool.

So ya...that was my Saturday. I was happy that I got to experience the anti-hate. WHY CANT WE ALL JUST GET ALONG!?!?!

Here's to Ice cream

Today I got to experience the delightfully refreshing taste of cookies and cream gelato. Can you say MMMMMM? Yea...seriously I have to say this stuff is freakin hardcore. Its creamy goodness and crispy cookiness was just perfect after a nice steak and chive mash meal.....

I think I'm hungry again. Maybe I'll eat....nah...I'm too lazy.

Beware the Avian Killer!

Has anyone ever seen Alfred Hitchcock's, "The Birds"? Bascially, the point of the story is that if they wanted to, birds could seriously kick the ass of the human race. However, Hitchcock is fiction. The Bird Flu is definetely a reality. As you may have heard, much of the world is on alert for breakouts of the deadly bird flu virus, which has already hit three continents, and killed over 90 people. According to BBC World News, this gives the virus a 50% mortality rate. The fact that the flu, composed of a deadly strain of H5N1, is carried by birds that are migratory, it makes many other areas of the world extremely vulnerable. Also - lets not forget all the poultry being imported and exported from country to country for human consumption? Scary I know! Anyways, this is Julia here just giving all our readers an update on what the avian flu is, and where it is located - because I am certain that you'll be hearing alot about in on the news in the future. Here are some FUN facts about Bird Flu! 1) There are over 15 different types of avian (bird) flu - the most deadly contains the H5N1 strain. 2) A person gets this virus by having close contact with the infected birds - it is in their faeces, and when it drys, is released into the air, then inhaled by humans. 3)Bird flu spreads extremely fast - within one week in February, 2006, Italy, Greece, Bulgaria, Germany, Austria, France, Slovenia, India, Iran, and Eygpt, confirmed their first cases of bird flu. 4) The consequences of a worldwide outbreak of the flu, would ultimately constitute in between two million and fifty million deaths.

Introducing the LOVE OF CHRISTINA'S LIFE... MICHAEL EALY

Mike-- if you read this please post a comment and I will be happy to give you my address and telephone number. Call or stop by any time because whatever I may be doing at the time...I will certainly drop for you.

Michael Ealy is the main character on the show Sleeper Cell on Showtime. I got hooked on the show and anticipate new episodes every week because I think that Michael might be the hottest guy I've ever seen...OK maybe he isn't your time but hey different strokes for different folks...look at those eyes.. doesn't get any better than that. The french dude on the show is mad sexy too but Michael won me over big time.

Anyways..that's all. I'm going to marinate on the couch for the rest of the day and think about all the things I did not get done this weekend. Woops.

Spotlight On: Zoe Lucker

She schemes, manipulates, shops, boozes, and does a ton of coke. Tanya Turner is pretty much the alpha female of the entire footballer's wives group. She is married to the captain of the Earl's Park football team, the one and only, Jason Turner - former December bloke of the month. Although her husband cheats on her with a new tart every other week - Tanya takes the blows in stride - basically spending all JT's cash on drinks, drugs, and dolce cabanna. Oh. And not to mention shagging his fellow teamates, agent, and club manager! Tanya likes to spend her days drinking vodka by her indoor pool, getting massages with the other footballer's wives, shopping on High Street with model-pal Chardonnay, or boozing at posh bars in high rises over the Thames in London. Besides the unhealthy marriage deal - wouldn't this life be fucking sweet?

things i think are wierd

- show and tell: telling people to have their children bring in a possession to show to the other students is a wierd way to teach children about wealth. basically, we're saying the kid with the shiniest thing and the best show and tell object is a way to show their parent's wealth also- i think telling kids to bring in things is not okay.
- tatoos of chinese symbols are wierd if you're not chinese. if you do not speak chinese do not get a chinese symbol that tattoo. esepcially men, and stay away from any barbwrie armband tattoos or anything on your chest that clashes with your nipple.
- people who say "no offense but..." are weird. say what you mean it might be awkward but it is refreshing.
- that people paid to go see movies like white chicks and fever pitch. you were so hyper you couldnt even wait for video- which you knew would be less annoying to watch.
- fraternity and sororities are wierd. ive been in one. it was fun for a while but people snap instead of clap and wierd shit like that. it was like a wierd world where things like that were necessary
- that the people on american idol have freinds. no friend would let some of those people audition. i dont think those are being good frtiends. bad friends.

-Jordan Barry

Julia's: Things That Make You Mad

You know what really pisses me off? When drivers completely brake when making a turn. It is one of the most annoying things ever. Why must I put on my brakes and slow my momentum for some jackass to take a turn? Its almost as annoying as the foreign woman working behind the counter at a pharmacy. Shouldn't they require an employee distributing drugs and medications to customers to be able to speak English? I'm sorry but I get really sketched out when the pharmacist handing me my prescription is speaking in a different tounge other than mine. Another thing that pisses me off is when old people drive nice cars. They are suppose to drive Buicks and Oldsmobiles, not jaguars and bentley's. I should be driving those cars - not some 72 year-old battleaxe with a bowel movement dysfunction. When it comes to the kitchen, there is no thing that pisses me of more is dishes and sliverware in the sink. What the fuck people... the dishwasher is probably located less than three feet away. Just put the dishes in the god damn machine. No one wants to look at them sitting in the sink. Especially me at 7am in the morning. On a final note - why does the train that goes through winter park at 2am in the morning insist of blowing its horn sixteen times in a row? Are there that many people on the tracks? Every fucking night. Sounds like the minute express is barreling through my bedroom. The train conductor should have a little more consideration for those living near the railroad tracks that may have to get up early for work and need to get their sleep. Stop with all the horn-blowing shit. It's really unnecessary.

BLOKE OF THE MONTH UPDATE!!!

We wanted to get a bit more information for all you eager beavers out there looking to hear the real deal about curtis, our february bloke....so....here it is...

Curtis was born in Long Island, New York. I'm going to take the liberty of saying that if he was a Yankees fan, he has since sacrificed his loyalty to the home team to become a Sox fan in exchange for a monthly Bloke title. Nah, just kidding. We love all enthusiasts so Curtis, if you like the Yankees, it's okay...just stay the hell away from us from August to October...

Curtis feels the need to speak in front of large groups of people which is probably why he chose to become the trivia master. We all wish that he would bring Mr Briggs, his ventriloquist dummy to one of his shows. Apparently he and Mr Briggs met when Curtis was just a wee 7 years old and they started performing together when Curtis was just 8. How's that for unusal talent?

I'm sure you're all dying to hear what types of girls Curtis likes....Well... he didn't really say which probably means he just likes LOTS of girls... We're basing this on the fact that he became an avid kisser at the age of 11. Beth Anne, his 13 year old neighbor, took his make-outginity and then forced him to kiss all of her friends.... I'm not sure if this hurt or helped him but hey, he turned out ok and all of Beth Anne's buddies got some good kissing practice in for 3 months until they dumped Curtis and moved on.... I bet they're regretting that decision now.

Chef BoyarCurtis is fond of Ravioli so if you and your family have a Ravioli night, be sure to include our dear Mr. Earth.

Well, I think that just about wraps up the story of Curtis....


Oh yea, if anyone has an extra pet monkey that practices good hygeine on its own then please contact curtis. He is looking for one.

AND THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR...

OUR FEBRUARY BLOKE OF THE MONTH!!!


CURTIS EARTH.....AKA....GOD....THE MASTER OF THE KNOW ALL'S TRIVIA SENSATION.....Entertaining us happy hour drunks every afternoon at 5pm at Fiddlers in Wintah Pahk.... What an excellent game....he's handsome, funny, smart and extremely entertaining....which makes him a perfect candidate for our February bloke. Watch out folks...he can ask some pretty tough questions so bring your smart pants to his game.....


his blog is...

http://earthtrivia.blogspot.com


we'll have more stats for him on the next post....hopefully we'll get a phone number to post so all you drooling ladies can call him up and try your luck. Act fast though...these blokes are very hard to get a date with. Trust me, I had to call Jason Turner and Jason Varitek over 5 times EACH every day to get a response. And no, I am not a stalker I am just motivated.