I know, I've been MIA and I'M SORRY DAMNIT I'M SORRY.

I had written a list of reasons why I am sorry I have not written. This list was nicely typed in the "create post" window of this blog editor until my lovely macintosh decided to unexpectedly quit which, I think, was a sign that I had not written the post as wonderfully as it could have been written...

After all, I'm going to make a sick attempt at a comeback, people. A number of things have happened since I last contributed to this humorous site. I used to write everything down. I used to think I was quite good at expressing humor on paper. The sarcasm and dry humor was sucked out of my writing shortly before quitting altogether. I don't know why this happened but I'd like to say that investment banking and my 40-hour a week commitment to the profession had something to do with it. Yikes, banking is not for silly, immature maniacs like myself.

So, I'd like to share with you all something that has made my life quite happy over the past month. I have developed a hysteric love for obese cats. I don't know why, but every time I see a picture of a morbidly obese cat, I can't help but tear up from laughter. I know, I know... I'm sick. I have a picture of a whopper of a tabby pinned up on my desk. I think my colleagues think I'm weird but hey, I'd rather be weird than boring because at least weirdos are entertaining. To be a bore, well, that's inescapable.

I'm going to leave you with a few photos of some fatcats I think you'll enjoy....

I'm going to make more of an effort to keep this up because my sidekick has done so and I'd hate to be thought of as a quitter. Write write write. Always write. Writing is such a great thing. It has always been such a remedy for me. So, I hope you enjoy the cats. If you think I'm a sicko, well, that's your problem, not mine.

UPDATE: I have an overweight cat and I am doing my best to get him to lose weight, despite my infatuation with fat cats.

Idol Evil?

Recent rants from everyone from the View to Letterman to Good Morning America needs to calm the fuck down about American Idol. The judges.. Paula, Randy, and my soulmate, Simon - have been accused of being "too mean" this season. Listen up people. They're not mean. They are reacting accurately to the absolutely shit-show preformances of sucky-ass people in Memphis and Seattle. If that bush-baby kid/Eddie Munster did his NSync skit/siezure in front of me, I would react the same if not worse than any of the three judges. Give them a fucking break. The show is hilarious. If people wanted it off the air, it wouldn't get millions of viewers a week. Chill the fuck out. I would also like to add that Ryan Seacrest contributes absoutely nothing to the show, and should be either cast-off or killed. Little blonde twat. How tall are you? 5'3"?

Are you ready?

My dad was my bestfriend growing up - so of course, every Sunday afternoon it was Pats time (which I loved b/c I didn't have to do my homework until the game finished). YEARS of watching Pats games from Parcells to Carrol to Belichek - cannot prepare me for Sunday's rivalry. Pats vs. Colts - Brady vs. Purdue Chicken Peyton.. Peyton, never losing a homegame.. and Brady never having lost indoors.. Quite the matchup! This is from the last Superbowl Parade in Boston - check out my boys Vrabel and Bruschi.. SO HOT. Mike Vrabel would make a good drinking buddy I think.. he just looks fun!